2018 Resolution: Beyond Boring Pizza


Fed up with lame pizza, the Ninja looks for a new challenge in the new year.

Hello pizza fanatics and welcome to the January 2018 edition of the East Falls Pizza Review.  New Year, new pizza, same Ninja.

For this months edition, the Ninja tried some pizza from some indistinguishable shop in the Manayunk/Roxborough area.  You know the type.  Seriously, throw a rock and you’ll hit one of these pizza shops, they are all the same.  It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great.  Then the Ninja just sat there in his ninja underwear on the couch.  He looked at this basic pizza.  It’s unremarkable cheese.

The crust, it was a bit undercooked.

The box, generic..

It happened.  The pizza ninja had an existential crisis of pizza proportions.  The truth is, there is a lot of really amazing pizza in Philadelphia, and especially in East Falls.  But once you’ve gone through all of the amazing pies, what are you left with?  Lots and lots of mediocre pizza.

At the time of print, there are no less than 24 different options for pizza delivery to East Falls available on GrubHub.  If you add UberEats into the mix the choices balloon to over 80.  This doesn’t even include pizza shops that aren’t on a food delivery app, or major chains such as Dominos or Papa Johns (the ninja shudders at the thought of chain pizza).

The Ninja can no longer force himself to eat sub-par pizza when there are much tastier options out there.

So the Ninja’s New Years wish for the loyal readers of the East Falls Local is simple.  Where do we go from here?  Should we keep it East Falls-centric?  Branch out to pizza in other areas of the city?  Switch gears from plain pies to more exotic offerings such as Hawaiian?  Expand the reviews to nachos, cheese steaks & sushi? (p.s that last suggestion will never happen, the Pizza Ninja deals in pizza only).

Fill out the simple survey below, or just leave a suggestion in the comment field to do your part for new and improved pizza reviews for 2018.  The Ninja’s New Year resolution is simple, to continue being the authority on pizza in East Falls, one slice at a time. (Read all Pizza Ninja’s reviews from 2016 on.)

About Pizza Ninja 22 Articles
Born in Chicago, arguably the capitol of world class pizza options, the Pizza Ninja consumes pizza an average of 3 to 4 nights a week. From local options to frozen pizza, no crust is left behind. He has been eating pizza for 34 years and currently resides in East Falls along with his wife, daughter and two dogs. On occasion, he will graciously share a slice of his pizza with them. Follow the Ninja on Instagram.

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