Etiquette and ethics in a high-tech, high-touch world.
✋💬 HARD PASS, SOFT VOICE
Q: My friend keeps trying to get me to join her online side hustle — first it was skincare, now it’s supplements and something called iCoinPro (?). I’ve said no nicely several times but she keeps circling back. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’m tired of feeling like a target. How do I shut this down for good?
A: We can’t control our friends, but we can control how we respond — and that includes setting clear boundaries without making things weird. If your friend keeps pitching you, there’s no need to provide an in-depth explanation. A simple, kind “I’m glad this is working for you, but I’m not looking for another job right now” is enough. Or: “This sounds like a good opportunity for the right person, but I’m just not interested.”
If she continues to push, stay consistent. You don’t need new reasons each time — just calmly repeat yourself. “I appreciate you thinking of me, but this isn’t something I want to do.” If you start to feel cornered, it’s okay to get a little more direct: “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up again. I’m not going to change my mind.”
You’re not judging her. You’re just declining an offer — and that’s allowed! A real friend will respect your no, even if it takes a few reminders. Hold your ground with honesty and care. The sooner she sees that your answer’s not changing, the sooner she’ll (hopefully) stop asking.
LIGHTS, CAMERA, INTRUSION 🎥🚷
Q: There’s a guy in my gym who live-streams his workouts and sometimes includes people in the background (me!) without asking. I complained once and was told he has a “right to film himself.” I feel uncomfortable — and kind of violated. What are my options?
A: This is one of those modern problems our gym memberships didn’t prepare us for! You’re not being unreasonable for wanting to work out without becoming background content on someone’s livestream. Start by taking it to the staff: Ask if the gym has a policy about filming or photographing members. Many do — especially to protect privacy in locker rooms and shared workout spaces — but some may not have caught up with how common this has become. Either way, they need to hear your concern.
If the gym shrugs it off and the guy keeps recording, then your next step is about protecting your peace. You have options. You can steer clear when he’s around — switch equipment, change your workout time, or even skip that section of the gym. If that feels like too much of a hassle, it might be worth exploring other gyms that take member privacy more seriously.
Ultimately, you have a right to feel comfortable when you workout. Let the gym know what this behavior is costing them — not just in terms of member discomfort, but in the kind of environment they’re allowing. Sure, they might enjoy the social media boost, but they need to weigh that against how it affects the actual humans in the room.
🧠🤖 SMART TOOLS, DUMB CHOICES ❌❌
Q: I found out my younger sister has been using AI to write her college papers. I don’t want to rat her out, but I’m worried she’s not actually learning anything — and that it could seriously backfire. Should I step in or let her figure it out herself?
A: If by “stepping in” you mean talking with your sister — yes, I think that’s a wise and caring choice. She’s responsible for her decisions, but there’s no harm in starting a conversation. Not to lecture or accuse, just to listen. Ask questions. Learn what she’s doing and why.
Begin with curiosity. Does her college have a policy about AI use? Many schools are still figuring this out, and individual professors may have different expectations. She might not be breaking any rules — but it’s important that she knows what they are, and how to use AI responsibly.
Is she copying full drafts without reviewing them? Or using it to brainstorm and then writing in her own voice? AI is a powerful tool, but it’s far from perfect. It can make things up, especially with citations. It can also sound generic or stilted. Is she checking for that? How carefully she’s reviewing the results can say a lot about whether she’s learning with the tool or letting it do the thinking for her.
Finally, consider the bigger picture. What does she want from college — and from herself? Writing is more than just a hurdle to clear. It’s a way of learning, of organizing ideas, of discovering your own perspective. If she’s shortcutting that process, what might she be missing?
This isn’t about catching her doing something wrong. It’s about helping her think through what she’s doing, and why. We’re all learning how to live with these tools. What matters most is that we use them with care, integrity, and intention.
(And for what it’s worth: Athena doesn’t use AI to write these answers but the editors rely on it for spell/grammar check, headers, SEO text, etc.)
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