Coexisting with care (permits optional).
HOUSE RULES
Q: My next-door neighbor has recently started a home business, and there seem to be a lot of people coming and going throughout the day. Not just deliveries, but customers will park in front of my house! I’ve tried hinting that it’s disruptive, but nothing has changed. How can I address this without causing tension?
A: You should start with some research. Use one of the city’s free tools to look up whether your neighbor’s (apparent) commercial activity is properly registered and allowed under the zoning code. If it is not permitted, I urge you not to make a complaint with the city — yet. This could start a battle that could seriously harm your relationship in the long term.
The City has numerous ways to file a complaint, but before going down that road, I urge you to talk with your neighbor first about what’s going on. For all you know, the situation may be temporary, or maybe they’re not aware they’re causing a disturbance.
Try a non-confrontational approach — the more upbeat and encouraging you can be, the more likely they’ll be open to working something out to ease your inconvenience. Perhaps your neighbor would agree to have customers and deliveries during certain times, or maybe they can keep your parking spot open?
If you find out your neighbor’s business is properly zoned and permitted, you’ll need to take an even softer approach. Keep in mind, we’re all equals here: your desire for a traffic-free street does not override your neighbor’s right to earn a living. As community members, there are some things we just have to live with.
In either instance, do you best to remain reasonable. Focus on what is truly a nuisance versus stuff that irritates you personally. Are customers or deliveries blocking the road or people’s driveways? Are you unable to find parking? Is there problematic noise, trash, signage? Are other neighbors experiencing issues too? Document as fairly and accurately as you can, and engage in calm, scheduled conversations.
Let’s hope your neighbor is so successful that they need to move their business to a more commercial location!
LAWN & ORDER: GOLDEN YEARS UNIT
Q: I’ve noticed my elderly neighbor’s yard is getting overgrown, and it seems like they might need help, but are too proud to ask. Would it be imposing if I just went ahead and took care of the matter myself the next time I’m doing my own yard? What should I say if they catch me in the act?
Never go onto someone’s property and begin work. It is offensive and invasive. Instead, knock on the neighbor’s door and have a chat. Say you are doing yard work and want to know if you can mow their lawn or do some weed whacking. It is easy to do a little more while you are out there anyway.
Give your neighbor some control and respect their autonomy. They may really need help, but don’t know how to get it. They also might be very territorial and not want anyone to enter their space.
If you are worried about them in other ways, such as food and medical care, you might want to contact your Councilmember’s office to see if there are resources they can bring to bear that would help. Thank you for being a good neighbor.
👴 PHILLY ELDER RESOURCES 👵
Worried about an aging neighbor or maybe feeling a little overwhelmed yourself? Philadelphia has lots of services for older adults and their caregivers. Whether it’s home repairs, meal deliveries, legal aid, or just someone to talk to, there’s support out there.
Stay up to date on the latest changes in senior programs and policies with Philadelphia Corporation for Aging (“PCA”). They’re sort of a one-stop shop for aging services of all kinds in Philly. Call their Helpline at 215-765-9040 or visit pcacares.org to ask about:
- In-home help
- Senior centers
- Home-delivered meals
- Caregiver support
- Protective services
- …and a whole lot more.
And remember: it’s not nosy to care. Checking in could be the first step toward getting a neighbor the help they didn’t know how to ask for.
Respect your elders… but also check in on ‘em. ❤
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