Valentines in Quarantine

Love during lockdown

Among many other things, such as Black History month and President’s Day, February is the month of love, of Valentine’s Day!

This year Valentine’s Day will be unlike any other in our known histories. Some of us will venture out to restaurants but the majority of us will be in the shelter of our homes, celebrating the day in a new and different way.

Given the demands of this past year, where we have been stretched to the max, expressing love to our partners could be difficult. We may be feeling over-extended, resentful, tired, annoyed, even angry. We may be hungering for a change….and fantasizing about a trip to the Bahamas with a good novel.

Thus, we might consider the thoughts of Firmin DeBrabander in a blog post entitled What Plato can Teach You about Finding a Soulmate.

“True love does not come about easily, rather it is the product of immense work, constant attention and sacrifice…If soulmates exist, they are made and fashioned, after a lifetime shared dealing with common duties, enduring pain, and of course, knowing joy.”

This Valentine’s Day could be a testimony to that effort.

I remember a long time ago, when I was a kid of eight or nine, creating a wedding anniversary dinner for my parents. That comes to mind now, as we have to consider how to make Valentine’s Day a special day without the usual supports. That long ago day, my younger sister and I donned aprons and prepared a meal for our parents. I admit, I don’t remember what we made, but I do remember hanging material up to create a curtained and protected eating space in the kitchen and that we set the table with special care, including candles. I also remember my parents’ delighted sense of surprise with this gift.

I offer you this memory as a spark for your own ingenuity. What can you do to create a special Valentine’s evening? What would give you and your beloved pleasure and delight? Is it a special, home-cooked dinner? Just the right dessert? Watching a great film together? Spending time appreciating with each other? Sharing happy memories? Giving the gift of a cute puppy? The promise of a walk in the woods or a trip to the ocean?

Love is the central life force of our vitality. The happiness, the inner warmth we feel is like the sun beaming its brilliant rays on us. Without love we are like a flower, wilting in a darkened room. Giving, sharing and receiving love are essential for our well-being. Love needs to be tenderly thought about and generated, especially during difficult times, such as these.

Let us make this Valentine’s Day a day of renewing that essential ingredient! Let us give the ones we love joy and appreciation! Let us give them an abundance of hugs and kisses! Let us remember what brought us together and celebrate!

Wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day!!

PS Please write me. I’d love to know what you came up with for your Valentine’s day celebration!

 

About Claudia Apfelbaum 3 Articles
Claudia Apfelbaum, LCSW, offers women and men a protected space to talk about their lives and feel heard. She helps people who feel stuck, unclear, in pain, depressed or anxious in the current moment to become unstuck and create a life they feel good about. She offers a place to feel seen, heard and held and thus to breathe new life into your life. She runs a weekly online group called “In the Time of Corona”. It is a place for connection and dialogue during this time of social isolation. Her website is ClaudiaListens.com. She can be contacted at claudialistens@gmail.com.

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