Missed Connections: OCTOBER 2025

OCTOBER: In a world… where the nights get longer 🌒, the leaves turn blood-red 🍁, and every shadow hides a story 👀… one month dares you to face the darkness. This year’s Harvest Moon 🌕 rises on October 7, blazing in bold Aries ♈ — summoning courage, recklessness, and uninvited impulses urging us on. 🔥🩸 Will you leap into the unknown… or run screaming into the night? 🏃‍♀️💨👻

Our props list: jack-o’-lantern grins 🎃, feathers and boards 🪶🪵, and masks that never quite come off 🦹. The month itself plays dress-up: ghosts to chase (10/5), zombies on the loose 🧟 (10/11), fossils rattling their bones 🦖 (10/15), and black cats claiming their spotlight 🐈‍⬛ (10/27).

The rules are simple: the veil is thin 🕸️, the candy is cursed 🍬💀, and October wants you to play along. Do you dare? 🦇🔮🕷️

Goth Freaks and Horror Crafters: Your spooky skills and are needed to help decorate @SchuylkillCenter for Halloween Hikes and Hayrides! Free tix to this popular festival for all who lend a hand. TUES OCT 21 (10am – 1pm) 18+

Does anyone else feel like drivers in our neighborhood just blow thru the stop signs? I see a lot on Conrad from Queen Lane down to Indian Queen. Today I was crossing the street at Sunnyside (on Conrad of course) and I had a Verizon truck block my view and this lady in a van didn’t even stop for me! And I was already halfway thru the crosswalk!!! Very frustrated with this situation. ~ Anonymous in East Falls

One should only say good things about the dead. He’s dead. Good.  – Bette Davis, American actress (1908  – 1989)

Need sea box turned around (Germantown)
Need someone with a reach stacker or poss forklift to flip my sea box 180 degrees to access doors. Compensation: Neg. What’s inside stays between you and I. ~ Boxcutter Bill

Reality Check: If you suffered in life and want others to suffer as you did because “you turned out fine” then you did not, in fact, turn out fine. It’s OK. We still love you. How can we help? We’re in this together, my friend. #Unity2025

Calling all restless spirits 👻 — tired of haunting rowhouses? Come to the FDR Park Boathouse on Sat 10/25, 5–8 PM for a proper welcome back. 🎶💃 Fairmount Park Conservancy + artist Cesar Viveros host Día de los Muertos with music, dance, food, and art glowing on the steps. Don’t ghost us, ancestors — this fiesta’s for you. 🌼💀

Halloween Facts: there is nothing in the song Monster Mash that explicitly says it was a dance. Listen to the lyrics, and you tell me it’s not about an orgy. Graveyard smash, indeed. 🤭

YOLO at NOTO: You were a dark surging dervish in black ruffles and jeans the color of midnight. I was the random body you grabbed and kissed on the dancefloor. Don’t blame me for testing my lucky streak; you started the game. Round two?  #LetsMakeItInteresting

Two scientists walk into a bar. “I’ll have H20” says the first. “I’ll have H20, too,” says the second. Bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.  #nerdjokes

👽 The idea of being visited by aliens lost its appeal when I realized they’d most likely just be some other planet’s asshole billionaires. 🚀🤑 #ElonSucks

If you’re into architecture, prepare to be haunted. 👻 The area around the Please Touch Museum is a gothic fever dream: a boulevard of shadows, arches, statues, and steeples, lined with the bones of gilded-age townhomes with tales to tell. 🏛️💀 Totally worth a $10 tour! @MyPhillyPark SUN OCT 19 (10am–12:30pm)

Sweet Loretta: What did you mean, I’m not man enough to be a woman? You actually said I don’t have the “literal balls” to be a woman, let alone the brains and brawn. I can’t begin to describe how irritating it is when you say “literally” but you’re speaking “figuratively.” Wait, you’re speaking figuratively, aren’t you? Oh crap, I’m spiraling. ~ JoJo on the Avenue

🎲🎩 You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a Luxury Tax and rich people can go to jail. Release 👏 the 👏 Epstein 👏 Files 👏!!!

HVAC, ASAP: You touched my coils, you knew the codes – my unit whirred to life. Wish I’d thought to inquire about a maintenance plan. Please hmu if you see this. ~ Mr Discretion 🤫

MISSING FELINE: “Periphery” (Mt Airy area). Has anyone seen my cat? He’s got dark blurry fur in a roundish shape you can only detect from the corner of your eye. If you look directly at him, he’ll fade and disappear. In fact, I’m not entirely sure he’s real. But if not than who has been eating his cat food? It’s only me here and him (I think). Let me know if you’ve seen him too. ~ Schrödinger’s Roommate

To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.  – Theodore Roosevelt, 26^th President of the US (1858 – 1919)

ISO Outsider for Inside Job — I have been self-sabotaging for years now and I’m getting nowhere. Now it’s clear to me that I need to bring someone in who can really level-up my ability to undermine myself. Qualified candidates, do your worst. DM for my info name, DOB + SS#. Thanks!

🙌🍫 Candy Fans! Fun new collab by Mars and Turning Point USA: the Tucker Carlson M&M. They’re all-white, extra bitter, and will immediately melt down when mixed with multi-colored M&Ms.  #mmmracism

Toothless senior at Chloe’s Corner, enjoying your soft serve just a little too much, for my comfort. I can’t get what you said about your “gum muscles” out of my mind. Now I’m squeamishly intrigued and praying my curiosity doesn’t get the best of me. ~ My Eyes

If the point of having a society *isn’t* to care for each other, to ease suffering, and realize each life’s potential then literally what is the point? To hoard wealth? To build empires for mad kings? Life is brief, nothing lasts. Insatiable greed in a finite word can never succeed in the end. Love is all we have. And it’s EVERYTHING! 🙌💗🌎

Fake Date to Make My X JEALOUS!!! We meet in a public restaurant, order food, eat and take pics together. Nothing else. Crazy easy. $100 cash, as soon as we are done taking photos. Must have own transportation, dress well, and be smokin’ hot. Let’s talk! ~ Raguel

Need discreet cleaning/removal service (Germantown)
Personal sea box at undisclosed location. Compensation: Neg
Absolute secrecy required and reciprocated. Must be able to work overnight. ~ Bill

Met you at the Euphorium. You were levitating up and I was gently wafting down. Like two feathers: one on an airy updraft; the other in dreamy freefall. But for one blissful moment, hovering together in weightless ecstasy. 🍃💖✨ #CarpeDiem

I took Tylenol while autistic and now my son is pregnant. #Great

They asked me what I’ve been up to lately, and I didn’t know how to say “Healing generational trauma, current life trauma, slaying my inner demons, holding my inner child, expanding my nervous system out of survival mode and becoming a literal, unshakeable badass,” so I said “Not much, you?”  #peace

I said what I said, Becky. You DO look like the kind of person who would take a dump in a Porta Potty in the middle of a jam-packed beer garden. I meant it as a complement, that you are so brave with your IBD. You’re #1 at number two! Friends? ~ Trish

As a ghost I think it would really hurt my feelings for someone to sage their house but then put up ghost decorations for Halloween. #DoBetter

Warning for Pet Owners – my foster puppy collapsed after walking around Inn Yard Park on Kelly Drive (East Falls). The vet said she tested positive for THC and meth!!! Please keep a close eye on what your pets might pick up off the ground. She’s recovering, but still. ~ Suzanne

We hope you have enjoyed this Month’s MISSED CONNECTIONS! 

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