🍁🦃✨ Welcome to NOVEMBER, a month of gratitude, coziness, and golden autumn days slipping into winter’s embrace. 🍂 The trees may be nearly bare, but the season’s rich with harvest flavors, warm gatherings, and an unmistakable anticipation for year’s end. 🔥🧤 As the days grow shorter and our appetites grow heartier, the year’s last supermoon – the Full Beaver Moon — rises on the 15th 🌕, under the grounded and steady sign of Taurus 🐂♉, bringing calm focus to a month that blends warmth with reflection. 🌽🥧 Alongside Thanksgiving feasts on the 28th, November has its share of quirky holidays worth a nod: National Sandwich Day 🥪 (11/3), World Kindness Day 💛 (11/13), Button Day 🪡 (11/16), and Absurdity Day 🤪 (11/20). And don’t forget National Espresso Day ☕ (11/23) – because, well, it’s been a long year! Keep your coats, candles, and caffeine close, friends!
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Wheels in Motion… 🚲 Join Graham Robb on a FREE five-mile tour of West Fairmount Park on Nov 9th. Graham promises to reveal the park’s hidden sweet spots — and we’re not just talking about that surprise hill on mile three. Bring your helmet! Graham’s storytelling skills will only protect your head in spirit. Meet us at 9AM; leave with legends and lactic acid. @MyPhillyPark
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Saw U Just Toss Your Trash on the Street! WTF?! The container popped open and your lunch leftovers came spilling out, napkins blowing down the street. Thanks, really looking forward to fishing chicken wing bones out of my dog’s mouth next time we walk by. Have some respect for others. – Brian on Aramat.
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Do you believe in magic? I didn’t, until I met Big Cheryl from Conshohoken, swerving merrily down the SRT. She told me to follow her and, spellbound, I obeyed. What followed was a cryptic tryst of gothic proportions, blissful with POW! Juice and a backpack full of herb. Who else has seen my beautiful illusion? ~ Doug with the buck teeth
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He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it. – James Boswell, Scottish biographer and lawyer (1740-1795)
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Unfriendly Reminder: If you only support abortion in instances of rape or incest, you’re reinforcing the idea that in order for a woman to have a right to her body, someone else has to violate it first. #badhuman
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Craving craters?❓ 🌕 Join fellow lunar lunatics for a satisfying evening at Lemon Hill, where Buddy Muhler’s mighty telescope will get you up close and personal with the very surface of the moon, and all its nooks and crannies. With a two-mile night hike on a wooded path over Kelly Drive. Tuesday, Nov 12, meet 6pm at Lemon Hill Mansion @myphillypark
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What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish? 🤔 #dadjokes
Coffee on the Riverwalk at 23rd and JFK. You, on your balcony. Me, on mine. Both of us watching those blue-collared boys like a cats at a fish market. Rowl! Is it me, or is this a connection worth exploring? Have kaftan, will party! ~ Mrs Roper
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Here’s a thought: the people asking if a 9 year old kid can even know he’s gay might consider wondering how the other 9 year olds already know to bully him if he comes out. #Hmmm
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Attention, Fellow Birders — For the ULTIMATE birding experience, I present my latest invention: the Birdie Beacon 3000! Crafted from ultra-light FeatherFlex material and embedded with over 3000+ premium seeds, nuts, and berry clusters, this stylish suit turns any birder into a mobile avian sanctuary! What could go wrong? Live demonstration Sunday Nov 17, 9am at Belmont Plateau, followed by guided hike on the historic Trolley Trail. #ravenoussquirrels
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Intersection Connection: This is for the pretty lady making a very unladylike gesture at a truck full of construction workers honking in her direction, one fateful lunch hour around Broad and Spruce. I like how you strutted by them at the light, lifting your hands high and defiant. I hope when my daughter grows up, she’s just like you. It’d be great to introduce you sometime. ~ Reese
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GOD: My latest creation will have the body of an ape, the voice box of a parrot, the skin of a pig, and the intelligence of a dolphin. I call it a Human, and it will destroy everything else I’ve made.
ANGELS: <confused applause>
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A beaver moon so bright and round, calls us out to wooded grounds, to share a drink in autumn’s breeze, beneath the dark and leafless trees. Let’s chat of stars and skies and signs – on Nov 15th, when moonlight shines. 7pm @schuylkillcenter ~ Witchy Wanda
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Janice: Are you medically hyperactive or were you just talking figuratively? I may have some herbs for you after I evaluate your irises. Consider it my Christmas gift (I’ll throw in a foot rub from Alan!) — Mrs P
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I said what I said, Emery. You literally can’t do self-checkout at Target b/c when you see yourself on the video surveillance you stop what you’re doing to preen and make google eyes. If that isn’t a modern spin on Narcissus, I don’t know what is. Sorry if that means you’re a narcissist. Try therapy! ~ Marshall
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Remember: everything is designed to destroy our empathy because if we really understood all the suffering in the world and our deep interconnectedness, we’d fall to our knees weeping in the streets instead of fighting each other and buying stuff. – Y.O. Personal Jesus
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Hey I just saw not one but two different guys with full-on handlebar mustaches on Germantown Avenue. One was on a penny farthing! I instantly felt a little sick to my stomach both times. Is this a normal side effect of gentrification? – Raymond
There’s a woman I see every day, walking her dog past my office window, and lately as it’s gotten cold they’ve taken to wearing matching sweaters, her and the dog. Has anyone else seen this? Is this what they call a kink? I’m in Roxborough. ~ Jimmy
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FYI Josh – a “biker gang” is a totally different thing than a “cycling club.” I can’t believe you set me up like that. Just glad Curly has a sense of humor. Good one, though. ~ Mr Payback
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Yikes, Jason, what’s the deal signing us up for the free hike at Schuylkill Nature Preserve on November 23rd? 350+ acres is a lot of wilderness to get lost in – sure, there’s a guide, but you know how bad I am at following directions. This better not be another one of your plans to ditch me. ~ Val
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I dreamt of a girl in a sharp red jacket on a crowded subway car. She turned to face me and opened her mouth like she was going to speak, then it grew wider and wider until it swallowed me whole. Like a fish I swam for my life against a black current, then woke up gasping. My darling this must be farewell. ~ Your Pilgrim
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Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet. #dadjokes
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Vendors and Music and Food Trucks (Oh my!) 🤩🛍️🌙 Germantown Night Market at Maplewood Mall on Saturday Nov 16th (4pm – 9pm). Stroll and browse the evening away with NW Philly neighbors.
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Did anyone lose a trident? I found one by the fence behind Queen Lane train station. If you can describe it, it’s yours. ~Gwen
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Looking for the great guy who was camping out under the shrubs behind that vacant house on Netherfield. Vince, I think his name was. Knew all about tracking, astronomy and ground hornets. Used to cast his own keys but as far as I could tell he did not make or even use locks. Last I heard he was on one of those Hunting Bigfoot shows (as the skeptic) but that was a few months ago. If anyone knows where I can find him leave a message for Teddy with Linda or Joe at Murphy’s bar. Thanks.
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This is for Phil and the gang – has anyone seen Peter? Last I heard from him, he’d just found his old box of I.Goldberg stuff, which he seemed to think was worth something, ha. No one wants his itchy, mothy blankets or those stupid gas mask bags from WWII. I guess I’m the bad guy now for bursting his bubble. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. ~ Chuck
If you’re going to get stood up on a blind date, Reading Terminal Market is the place to be. There were two of us losers sitting at Bassetts counter, watching our dishes of ice cream melt, along with our hopes and self-esteem. For the record, when I said I wanted a cannoli, I really was talking about Termini’s. But yours was nice too. Maybe we should’ve traded numbers after all. ~ Half-Scooped
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Dungeons, Dragons, and Dogs! Join Broken Bell Games for an evening of adventuring at Bark Social in Manayunk MON NOV 11 (6 – 9PM) @thebrokenbell
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Go Deep, the Extended Mix + Freak No. 2 – god, I love your playlists and that you’re so into cats. 🐈⬛ We need to hang out again, and explore our mutual delusions of grandeur. ~ ur sick bitch 🐩
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You Got Game?! Small but dedicated crew of board game fans meets Tuesday Nov 12 & 26 at Wissahickon Brewing Company (6pm – 10pm). Choice of games, or bring your own. With food trucks and beer – it’s ON!
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30th St Station: Your phone wouldn’t scan and the trolley was coming so I scanned mine for you, and held the arm open for you (a total stranger). We ran together, laughing, and made it just in time. But now the guilt overcomes me, at what we have done, which could go down on our PERMANENT RECORDS! Please contact me immediately so we can get our stories straight at least. ~ Oliver
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I’m a gay teacher in a blue city! When I get home from a long day of transing kids behind their parents’ back, there’s nothing I like more than unwinding with a fun night at the hurricane-making machine! #sarcasm
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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. #dadjokes
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Attention: There was a deceased squirrel in a laundry basket on Winona this week. Nobody is likely missing it, it didn’t have a collar or anything. But thought it was weird that it was In a laundry basket. — Ms Leigh
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Chain-Link Warriors Wanted 🛠️ Me and the reservoir’s old fence have a lot in common: we’ve both been around since the 70s and we’re none the worse for wear. High time we make way for better views – you can help! All abilities, no experience required. Gloves and tools will be provided, along with seasonal treats. Long pants, work boots, and a love of hot cider a must! Sat Nov 16 (10am – 3pm) at the Discovery Center.
Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. – Arthur Miller, American playwright and essayist (1915-2005)
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Turn It Up! 🎸🎶 Analog music freaks come out to Oaks Expo for two days of the Not Just Rock record show Nov 29 & 30. LPs, Eps, 45s plus books, posters, tshirts, cds and more. All music genres. You can’t always get what you want, but you just might find it here. @notjustrockexpo
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Look, almost 20 million people watch the National Dog Show every Thanksgiving, it’s the hottest event of the dog year, right in our own backyard. More than 200 different breeds, and it’s just $20 a ticket – that’s less than 10 cents a breed! Bring the whole fam for pawsitive memories. Gr Phila Expo Center Nov 16 & 17
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To the tall young man in blue who jogs by the Art Museum every morning at rush hour, this is a long shot but I’m the older woman in the red Subaru who waves at you every day. I’m not a cougar, I’m a podiatrist! And you pronate really bad! Please get some inserts, it kills me to watch you ruin your feet like that. ~ Mrs DPM
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Yo, Randy! 🧛♂️ Remember that copy of The Handbook for the Recently Deceased you found at Falls Flea this year? Well Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin will be at Monster-Mania Con this month – let’s get them to sign it! Nov 8–10, lemme know which day and I’ll get us tix. Monstermania.net
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She worked at McDonalds. He pretended to work at McDonalds. That’s a great analogy for how they governed, too. @FeministNews
Busy-Bodies Everywhere: Dogs poop. Deal with it, people. You can bark all you want but that’s not gonna change my behavior. If my dog poops ‘off bounds’ I will leave it. Ditto for loose ones. If I bag it, I may throw it in your trashcan if it’s out. Shame on you for being so unneighborly. Mr Wiss
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Hazy Cosmic Jive — if I remember correctly, that’s how we met in Washington Square after finding each other on POF, of all places. Seems like forever ago but now those weird rocks you pressed upon me have started making weird noises, and now there’s cracks on them like something’s hatching..? I know I promised to keep them safe but these better not be spiders or aliens. Please phone home. ~ E.T.
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PSSSST: Men did not “give” women voting rights. They *withheld* them. Then, women fixed it. #sufferinsufferage
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It’s the shunning. Just breaks my heart that you pretend I don’t exist now, after all we had together. It’s not enough that you destroyed me? Would it kill you to acknowledge me? Yoohoo! Over here! I’m a mess you left when you went away. 😭 Help! my life is an Alanis Morissette song and it’s all your fault. ~ Jaggedly Yours
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Short Shorts and Flip Flops in the Freezer Aisle, on a cold October night. See, now that I know you make poor choices, I feel I may have a chance. 😜 We agree on hard seltzer at least. Let’s make it officially unofficial. ~ Mr (Shop)Rite
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About me and Gary: He told me he was “gadgetated” and I assumed he’d misspoke, but nope. He was trying to coin a word to describe feeling overwhelmed by technological consumerism. 🙄 This, after the whole “Exit stencilist” thing. He’s just way too thirsty with his wordplay, I can’t abide. ✈️💂🙏
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Fun fact: In Denmark – where the minimum wage is $22 – a Big Mac is 3 cents cheaper than in the US. #themoreyouknow
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The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty. -John Adams, 2nd US president (1735-1826)
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MY FRIEND DAVID HAD HIS ID STOLEN AND NOW HE’S JUST DAV. #dadjokes
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We hope you have enjoyed this Month’s MISSED CONNECTIONS!
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