🧡🖤🍂 Oooh it’s OCTOBER! The heart of autumn. Crisp air, glowing sunsets, and dazzling landscapes setting the stage for the coziest time of year. 🧣☕ Nights grow cold and creep in earlier, inviting hot drinks, good books, and short-term relationships with snuggly people who look good in sweaters.🫂
This month’s Full Hunter’s Supermoon rises on the 17th 🌕, casting an impressive glow and inspiring the fearless emotional fortitude of Aries 🐏♈, its influencing sign. 🍬👻🎃 As Halloween haunts our horizon, other holidays remind us to celebrate the special things that make life fun: National Noodle Day 🍜🍝 ( 10/6), World Octopus Day 🐙 (10/8) , Global Cat Day 😽 (10/16), Wear Something Gaudy Day 👑 (10/17), International Artist Day 🧑🎨 (10/25), and of course Mischief Night on the 30th 🧻🧻🧻. Seasonal tip: don’t trust the skeletons in your closet with the good candy! 🚫🍫😱
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You know who you are: no matter what your friends post on social media, you always have something to say. Nine times out of ten it’s an unintelligible string of emojis. Is this a joke? A cry for help? Do you need someone to explain emojis? Please give this some thought and act accordingly. ~ B. N. Frank
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The Addams family started, I believe, when Uncle Fester released digestive vapors that were evidently so powerful that members of the family were left with permanent brain damage. There’s an excellent documentary about this, and a free screening on October 11th in Fairmount Park. “The Addams Family” (PG) will begin at 6:45pm, come early for a special engagement. Location: John Welsh Memorial Fountain near the Please Touch Museum in Parkside.
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This is for the lady smoking pot on a picnic table at the West Comfort station off MLK drive 9/22. Hi, Mom! Haha I saw you! I knew you were lying when we smelled it that time in the kitchen! 🤣🤣🤣 You are so busted. I’ve already told Don and Karen. ~ Brian
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He’s a wild man, with a beat-up van come ‘round by Fairhill way. Me a tall lass who’ll break an ass if I ain’t get my way. We a mean two, a skeleton crew for dark deeds far and wide. But sure as I know, we’re both getting old, and it’s time to say good bye. Adios, loser. I’ll sing my way out. ~ DEB
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“Soulmate” sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee. ~ Sister Donna #nunjokes
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We met at the big funeral at the other Laurel Hill – you drove my dad’s hearse. As “family corpse chauffer” you regaled me with such hilarious undertaker stories I was laughing until I cried, or was it the other way around? No matter, if you see this please reach out, I wrote my number on the label of one of the IPA’s I brought you from the memorial luncheon. ~ Sally
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Looking for Peter, an old boyfriend who worked at his parents’ pizza shop in Fairmount back in the late 80’s, early 90’s. A long time ago, he’s still my biggest regret. I was depressed at the time we dated, but I didn’t know it (people didn’t know about depression then). I think of him often and wish him well. ~ Andi (I wouldn’t hate it if he got this message).
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“Unicorn World” is what you’d get if you asked your 7 year old niece and her friends to design a Renaissance Fair: glitter, fairies, bubbles, princesses, coloring. Nothing scary, everything pink. There’s not one little boy in the promo video. The animatronic unicorns are cool though. Oct 26 & 27 at Oaks, theunicornworld.com
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In my youth I thought of writing a satire on mankind; but now in my age I think I should write an apology for them. — Horace Walpole, English novelist and essayist (1717-1797)
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🪖🪖🪖 VIETNAM VETERANS OF AMERICA CHAPTER 266 WILL BE HOLDING THEIR ANNUAL CANDLELIGHT NAME-READING ON SATURDAY OCTOBER 26 AT 12 NOON. PLEASE COME OUT TO HONOR AND REMEMBER THE 648 MEN AND WOMEN FROM PHILADELPHIA WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES IN THE VIETNAM WAR. 📍THE MEMORIAL IS LOCATED AT FRONT AND SPRUCE STREETS.
“IT IS OUR DUTY TO REMEMBER ” 🙏🙏🙏
CHAPTER 266 IS ALSO LOOKING FOR NEW MEMBERS. IF INTERESTED CALL CHUCK AT 215-722-3518 OR EMAIL LINEDOG716@YAHOO.COM PS PARADE & FESTIVAL EAKINS OVAL NOVEMBER 10, 2024 (12 – 4) ⭐⭐⭐
Look, I’m just trying to enjoy my day. Just one day, all for me. How often does that happen? So I’m down by the river with a good hot cup of coffee and it’s beautiful. Warm sun, nice breeze, the works. And it hits me that if I had to share the day with one person, it’d be you Becca. Forget it, though, I already told you it’s MY DAY. Sheesh. ~Arlo
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As a ghost it would hurt my feelings for someone to sage their house but then put up ghost decorations for Halloween. Just sayin.
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Hostess at Yards Brewery (Saturday eve): I must apologize for my expression, I thought you weren’t wearing pants! But then my gf explained the oversized button-down shirt you were wearing is actually a “shirt dress” and by complaining to your manager I was an “asshat” which was a “last straw” so now I’m “single” and hoping you’re “interested”. Hit me up! ~ Damon
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Brad, I know how much you love What We Do In the Shadows so I got us tickets to the Vampire Masquerade! It’s like a Halloween-themed murder mystery but there’s booze and we can go in character and confuse the plot lol It’s for a good cause, a local nature preserve. FRI OCT 18 (6-9PM) @schuylkillcenter.org PS I’m Nadja, of course! 💋🖤
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If a random Facebook mom in Ohio was able to start a rumor that quickly became a right-wing conspiracy theory, imagine what an ex-KGB agent with unlimited resources can do. 🤔 #TrollRoll
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Hanna Banana, we laughed our coconuts off at Live Casino, until your girlfriends whisked you away. I’m the darkhaired fella who held your Cosmo when you chased that Dragon Train winning streak. I really thought you were gonna hit that jackpot! We should try again, turns out I have another watch I can sell. ~ Glenn #Lucky
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Birds Aren’t Real – or are they? Investigate this age-old mystery with birders of all abilities at the Schuylkill Center’s 365-acre preserve. Meet 8am at the Visitor Center, Oct 12 & 15 The truth is out there!
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27 year old me is gone from the world, but echoes of him remain. The same is true for 17 year old me and 7 year old me. Those people no longer exist and yet I hear their footsteps in the attic. Humans are haunted houses. We are both the rooms and the ghosts in the corners. @CryptoNature
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Robert G, was that you at 30th Street Station, catching an outbound train? So you’re back in town? Were you ever going to call me? Is this your idea of reconciliation? If it’s not, you need to get the hell outta Philly. ~ Sheila
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👨🔬🧪⚡What’s on the Lab Slab? Children! Mr. Buddy’s lineup of spooky experiments will freak out kids of all ages. Grab your lil monsters for sweet seasonal comeuppance at the awe-inspiring Anna C. Verna Playground at FDR Park. Sat Oct 19 (9:30 – 11am) @myphillypark
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😱 Make this season extra spooky with Eagle’s Halloween Gun Show at Oaks! Everything you need to flex your Second Amendment rights, with 1500+ tables of weapons, ammo, and toxic masculinity, plus dozens of the country’s hottest incels and conspiracy theorists. Scariest ticket in town! OCT 18, 19, 20 🔫🗡️🏹 eagleshows.com
Sweet Clarity. Here I thought our relationship was a series of impossible coincidences that proved our love was star-crossed. Come to find you’d orchestrated each and every one, a massive endeavor of meticulous planning and outright deceit over years. It’s been six months since the big reveal, and I’m no closer to understanding why me, why this? #Unresolved
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Sadly, my obese parrot has died, but it’s a huge weight off my shoulders. #dadjokes
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Dear Friends of Stephen T. Herridge (NE Philly/Bensalem) — Stephen was my father. He and my mother were together in the late 60s but got separated by circumstance. I never met him, though I found some of his family in 2023, (unfortunately after his passing). I have no pictures of him, and I know very little about him. But as he is my one and only father, I’d like to learn anything I can about who he was. If anyone has any stories, and especially any photos I’d love to get in touch. ~ Junior
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Belzie Baby. You broadcast that old Faust-smile across the room, what do you THINK I’m gonna do? Why, float across the party and introduce myself, of course. I’m charmed to make your acquaintance! Expect soon we’ll cook something wicked up between us, don’t you think? ~ Bitchen Gretchen
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PSA: If zombies attack, go to Costco. There’s cement walls, years worth of food, and tons of supplies. Plus zombies can’t get in without a membership. #DadJokes
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🍴😮 What are Immigrants REALLY Eating? Join us as we expose an underground network of blistered meat, incendiary fruit salads, mysteriously textured beverages, and other items of gustatory intrigue that will blow your American palate! Sun Oct 27, meet us at FDR’s boathouse at 10:45am sharp. Bring cash and napkins. #AuthenticAF
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Very few established institutions, governments, and constitutions are ever destroyed by their enemies until they have been corrupted and weakened by their friends. — Walter Lippmann, American journalist (1889-1974)
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Hopeless positive romantic that’s creeping oh-so-slowly into nihilism. Seeking a co-pilot for the swift, spiraling, uncontrolled descent. Please, won’t you join me? Bring me roses and poison. We can gaze at the last glimpses of the stars together. Falling, falling, falling. ~Mister Sinker ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
👾 ALIEN (1979) 5-Second Movie Review: Nobody listens to the smart woman and then they all die except for the smart woman and her cat. Four stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐
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Well aren’t you a cutie, sneaking out of the Alexander Inn at the crack of dawn, dressed like a church lady. But it wasn’t Sunday — and you’re no lady (in all the best ways). Did I pique your curiosity? I’m at the Status Lounge every weeknight for cocktail hour for oysters and a Negroni over ice. Call me Chuck, it rhymes with… shuck. 🦪😏
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My kid just asked why the Tooth Fairy doesn’t just dig up dead people to get teeth, if she wants them so bad.💀💀💀
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Know this, I write f*ck grooves for a living. I know how to dish out the rhythm. You’ll kick off your shoe. You’ll see. I’m the overbite on the dancefloor, and the teeth marks in your bottom lip. I pump the volume. I slip the bump into the grind. I raise the eyebrows. Won’t you be the bass in my face? In the face in the crowd. Let’s dance. ~ Night Man
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Hey, Ride! You’re invited on a dark woodland journey upon a mattress of straw, in the company of friendly strangers. S’mores, crafts, and beer, too. All proceeds support The Schuylkill Center for Environmental Education. OCT 25 & 26 (5 – 9PM) #Halloween #HikesandHayrides
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Announcement: As of Oct 1st, 2024, I the undersigned am stepping down from my position as an adult. It turns out this job isn’t for me but I appreciate the opportunity. — Trip Bosworth (No Libs)
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Last Weekend 1AM, 19th & Moravian. Your friend made me promise to wait with you for your bus as she got into her uber. But my bus came first and I’d already been waiting over half an hour and I didn’t really know you so I took off, sorry. We were all kind of drunk but even then I knew it wasn’t cool. If you could give me a sign you’re alive I’d appreciate it. 😬😬😬 ~ Jojo
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Lit Bit: We love Edgar Allen Poe because he portrays universal human emotions like loss, grief, unrequited love, burying your enemy alive in the cellar and being scared out of your mind by a bird. @LibraryWraith
Blocktastic Alignment – a once-in-a-lifetime convergence occurs OCT 12 & 13 when Brick Fest Live comes to the Gr. Phila Expo Center at the same time The Art of the Brick is at Franklin Institute (extended thru Nov 17). Plan the perfect weekend for the Lego Lovers in your life. #nerd
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Sema, Truth is, I’ve whirled with many Dervishes in my time, but you’re the only one who ever got me closer to god. I ain’t never going to clip your wings. You spin me right round, baby. Right round. Yeah. ~Atatürk
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Handle Bar, Port Richmond (9/6) Guys, I know what you’re all thinking but someone must’ve slipped me a mickey. Do they still do that? Cause Doug showed me the security video and I don’t remember none of the dancing or the fighting or the pissing myself. Jimbo hereby vouches for me. ~ Spike(d)
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“Pretty sure my clowns are about to lay eggs” is an absolutely terrifying sentence coming from anyone other than my coworker with a saltwater home aquarium. #truth
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To the Redhead Shouting About Quaaludes on Broad St: Your voice was powerful, yet sonorous. Your hair, russet and windblown, setting off eyes that had seen it all, and hungered for more. A pagan goddess! A gnostic and a seeker. Radiating the fullness of the natural world and beyond. When our eyes met, you paused your public tirade to point at me, and declare, “This white bitch is trippin.” Yes, Queen! It’s Kammie and I would give my right arm to see you again.
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Look Nostradumbass, it doesn’t take a soothsayer to see what’ll to happen if you put up with this rage-filled woman who doesn’t like you, much less want to be married to you anymore. Unless you like antifreeze in your coffee, get out! Jesus! ~ Aunt Ginny
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Did you hear? A CO woman sent her daughter to school and she came back as a boy who identified as a cat, so she arranged to abort him but then the day before her appointment, illegals snuck up on him in his outdoor litterbox and killed him for food! #Sarcasm
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There is no such thing as a “self-made” man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts. — George Matthew Adams, American newspaper columnist (1878-1962)
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Missed my connection to Berlin from the Philadelphia airport but made a better one in Vino Volo’s weekday bartender, a self-described STEM nerd oozing with charm. The way you described sub-atomic fundamentals held me spellbound. Orbiting and colliding, attracting and repelling, oh my! I’ll be back for BioTechX; lemme me know if you want in (I know a guy). ~ The Guy
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Hot Glue For You! All these years, I never would’ve guessed you were into hardcore crafting like me: combat knitting, power macrame, full-contact scrap-booking, and extreme decoupage. So glad you pinged my Joann Fabrics After Dark account which is my actual name (first and last). Let’s talk industrial-strength Mod Podge! ~ Madge
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Just goes to show ya, Nick – sometimes you’re high, sometimes you’re mighty. And I can’t tell if you don’t know the difference or if you just don’t care. That’s your superpower, and it’s like catnip to me. #Meow
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